Tonight’s after-dinner conversation, in a nutshell. The whole time, Chip and our neighbor Steve have been down in the basement dismantling pipes and making loud banging noises with a wrench and yelling at us to turn the hot water on or off. There’s water everywhere. The idea is to install the new water heater, but we’ll see. (For the record, Steve does actually know what he’s doing, I think. He built this house!)

Note: This conversation was preceded by a dinner conversation about poop cleaners, as in people who clean other people’s butts for a living. And how gross that would be. And how cute baby butts are, but that doesn’t mean anyone wants to clean their poop all day long. Joshua suggested calling the plumbing guy on the magnet on our fridge. (?)

This is not a random assortment of quotes from throughout the night – this is the conversation, in order, with little or nothing left out.

Kaya: “I wish Michael Jackson was still black when I was born. He was cooler when he was black.”

Joshua: “What’s wrong with his chin?”

Kaya: “Why don’t we go to the Nutcracker anymore? We always used to go!”

Joshua: “I’m sick of that! I just want to open my presents!”

Kaya: “Give me your face and come with me to the TV. I know karate!”

Kaya: “I’m not really going to hurt you. I’m just bigger and stronger.”

Joshua: “I’m a cheetah. It means I can run faster than you … heeh heeeh.”

Kaya: “Mommy’s a camel. Stop quoting me word for word! Stop it! STOP STOP STOP hahahahahahahh heeeeheeehehee LOLOLOLOLOL *cough* *cough* *cough*.”

Kaya: “This song’s too long. [Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson] I think everyone knows that song is by Michael Jackson, you don’t have to say that!”

Joshua: “You don’t know how to spell.”